Confused about ex girlfriend, need advice, help, anything...?

We dated for almost 5 years, we are both 23 (young I know), very serious relationship, marriage was definitely the next step, moved in together for about a month then she dumped me. She said she wasn't happy and that she loved me but wasn't in love with me. So a few weeks go by and I find out shes dating a coworker. I'm not sure if she left me for him, or this is a rebound. But I feel she left me for him. Our relationship did get rocky towards the end, but nothing we hadn't endured before. So fast forward a month. I asked her to lunch Sunday, without hesitation she accepted. We went today, things were fine, not normal but not awkward. We conversed, told jokes, laughed. After lunch she asked if I would go shopping with her (then entire time she was remarking about how much weight she had gained, that she was fat, maybe trying to get feedback from me. IDK. We walked around finally sitting and talking more. I asked how she was and she told me she was ok- (not happy, translation), She complimented me some, held strong eye contact, and seemed happy to be spending time with me. When it was time to go, I could tell she wanted to stay. We walked to our cars, she asked for a hug and I obliged. She asked if we could keep talking, maybe keep doing things like this. I almost immediately blurted that I wanted space (Mistake?%26lt;%26lt;). I really love her and care for her, and see her as my true love. But I also don't want to be on the back burner. It's just not fair to me. So what do you think about A.) the situation, B.) what she is doing/wants, and C.) was what I said a mistake or could it be mis-interpreted. Any other notes or ideas are welcome. ThanksConfused about ex girlfriend, need advice, help, anything...?
Dude. This is almost the exact same thing I'm going through. I think I officially hate co-workers! I have a theory and it's called the ';Island Theory'; it could just as easily be called something else, but essentially it states that a girl will most likely not leave a guy unless she has another (potential) guy lined up. So thinking of guys as islands and girls as inhabitants...a girl will not just jump into the ocean and swim around aimlessly unless she spots another island that looks interesting (or if the island she is on is horrible).





That being said, it probably got to the point in the relationship where she felt very comfortable with you, but didn't feel the excitement that a new relationship brings. She obviously still has feelings for you or she wouldn't be hanging out and doing the things you talk about. It sucks for you because I don't know how you felt while you were dating her, but oftentimes (as was the case for me) the guy starts liking the girl the most after she decides she wants to break up! It's messed up and I don't know why it happens, but I see a repeated pattern with break ups....the girl feels horrible but starts dating right away to cover up her pain, while the guy is all the about the ex still...possibly even more so than while they were dating.





So...yes, the situation sucks. It's not fair for you if she is dating someone and you aren't! But when she finds out you are dating someone she will get totally jealous. Haha. Even though she thinks it's okay if she dates another guy!





She wants the best of both worlds....this new exciting (probably rebound) thing and you as a solid foundation in case this thing doesn't work out. It's up to you what you want to do...in my case I said screw that! Again, it's not fair for you.





As for the issue with you asking for space, I think it was good, as long as you can go through with it. I told my ex I needed space and she didn't listen and kept talking to me...I thought everything was fine and we were heading in the right direction only to find out later she was lying to me and had started dating a co-worker that was six years younger than her!





The best advice that I never took was to say you need space and stick with it. Go out and date some other people, she obviously already is. If it's meant to be it will work it's way out. If it's not, then good thing you found out now and didn't waste any more time on this.





Good luck!Confused about ex girlfriend, need advice, help, anything...?
Well if she dumped you because she wasn't happy then that means that she won't see you as a bf but as a friend now. She doesn't love you and she told you straight up! Just stay friends would be the best thing to do
a) the situation sucks. aha. and i think it's stupid for her to dump you, go out with another guy, then act like she likes you.


b) it sounds like she wants you back, but don't quote me on that. she could also be regretting her decision.


c) i don't think you did anything wrong, but you should probably make your side more clear.