I feel that the main one is that she is definately not over her ex boyfriend and I can feel it. He was her first boyfriend and he was very coercive in a sexual sense with her, and now she is naturally still attached to him. She doesn't tend to show it on the appearance level, but emotionally I have heard about and seen both personally and from friends that she has dreams about him (sexual and non-sexual) and that she thinks about him all the time. Recently, one of my freinds told me that she told her about sending a message to him on myspace. A few days later she told my friend that she was annoyed because he hadn't written her back yet in the last day and that she thought he was sitting there waiting for her to send him a message like he was obsessed. (This isn't the case as far as I can tell with him because he swore that he would never go out with her unless hell froze over)
This troubles me. I feel used, and like a placeholder in this situation.
Another reason is that her family is completely screwed up. Her mom divorced her father for cheating and I found out a few weeks ago that her mom is actually having an affair with a married man, and is not to mention a closet alcoholic.
Her mom is extremely picky in our relationship. She says that we are not allowed to kiss (we are 18...) and that alone is enough to make me rethink the situation. So when her mom says that to her, my girlfriend takes it that anything ';other'; than kissing is alright. With this in mind we basically bypassed 1st base and when straight to second and third. This may seem like it doesn't matter or something but it has made me really rethink our relationship, especially longterm, seeing how I will be going to college next year anyways. With the actual physical parts of our relationship I am confused. We are physically intimate a lot, but she is just so confusing in her logic.
My third reason is that I just don't feel as attracted as I was in the beginning. I think the spur of this was that she was that she was horrible at kissing. Judge me as shallow but it was an ultimate turn off for me. With all of these underlying circumstances I have definantly lost the touch for her. I actually find myself crushing on another girl in particular and I feel guilty for it. But as I am slowly becoming more and more unattracted to her I don't feel as guilty and am thinking mabye it's time I should get out of the relationship.
Now, if i was to break up with her, I still feel obligated to make it as easy as possible on her. I like her, I just don't feel that way about her anymore. I know the break up would hurt her regardless of what i say but I want to say why i'm breaking up with her in an appropriate, considerate fashion.I feel like I should break up with my Girlfriend but I need advice, help?
You definitely need to move on.
Tell her that your feelings have changed over time, and you need to let go and let her move forward with her life. Don't get dragged into great long talks. She's very attached to the other guy and needs to heal from him before getting involved with someone else.I feel like I should break up with my Girlfriend but I need advice, help?
I would break up with her. it takes someone to get over someone, and you are not that person helping her get over him. i'm sorry!!
Just blame yourself. Set your laundry list aside for as long as it takes to talk to her, and instead, give her a list of reasons why you can't give the relationship the heart it deserves. When it comes down to it, if you were falling in love with her, none of these issues you're having with her would matter. She's not the one, and you feel like you're leading her on and you're unhappy. That's good enough.
Then once you've set her free, take that laundry list back out and use it to remind yourself, any time you are lonely or need to forgive yourself.
tell her the truth frosted flake style (sugar coated) well for starters don't drag the second or third reasons in here (that would just SUCK) go for the first and OBVIOUS. There are things she really needs to think through and it's not helping either of you in the process. She can't blame you for doing what's best for her. For all she knows the right guy might be waiting for you to leave (no offense)
yeah you should break up with her cause thats just to much so i guess you should! cause you cant really be happy with someone if you still have feelings for your x no dont waist your time on that
and if her family are that big of a problem then yeah you need to talk to her. just be straight up with her dont lead her on anymore or yourself
good luck =)
Just tell her calmly that the time you two have spent together was great and you really care about her, but you feel that she's not over her ex and that you two are growing apart, or that you don't like her the same way as you used too. Good luck. I hope I helped you!
you can keep it simple if you dont want to hurt her, tell her that you are not ready to be in a serious relationship, you have school to think about and its just bad timing. All the other baggage she has will only make her feel worse, and if she is still in love with her first bf then you probably dont stand much of a change anyway. Some girls just like the idea of having a boyfriend. good luck
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