I am here looking for advice / help understanding....?

This story takes place of the last 2 months. I am 22 he is 23





Well this guy in my apt. building that I hang out with... my roomate and I could tell from the very start that he really likes me... we giggled about it at first.


Then he grew on me, so now I like him too and we have now kissed and fooled around a little bit. As soon as we kissed we fooled around... for a few days... then stopped wth that but we still kiss sometimes.... like when we run into eachother in the elevator or when i leave...


and then he told me he has baggage and warned me not to get attatched cuz he is not ready to get serious and doesnt want me to get hurt. he said he does not want to rush cuz he likes me and doesnt want to wreck it...


He said he really likes me a lot, and he cares about me, and he said eventually it would be nice if we could be together... but he said we need to take it slow and stuff. then he invites me to sleep over, i go over, and he kisses me infront of allll of his friends.


i dont understand.


i sometimes wanna cal him my boyfriend... but he is not... yet...


sometimes ill txt him and he wont write back... i dont know if that is his weird way of havng space ?? he is a very busy person too...


he obviously really likes me, and its hard to take it slow after you have already rushed.


so i am confused about what he wants... and what he means by takng it slow ?


i dont want to sit him down and talk about it, because i dont want to have a serious talk and get all serious when the point is to keep it light...





i am pretty laid back, and i am in no rush... i think maybe he is afraid that i will push him, so soetimes he doesnt call.... but its fine with me... and he knows i am pretty laid back so this sounds silly but maybe he knows that i know that he knows that i know he is just busy and hence doesnt need to call me to say that he is busy...





sorry if that last bit made no sense... it is hard to explan the whole point / story here....





advice ? thank you for your time, i appreciate it :)I am here looking for advice / help understanding....?
Okay, I'm 26 and I've been here. When a man tells you hes wants to take it slow, etc.... fine. Respect that BUT if thats how its gonna be, no more kissing and fooling around. The problem is that sometimes we give too fast and easily and they tell us ';I dont want a relationship right now'; but we still give them all the perks like kissing and stuff. So he has the best of both worlds: no relationship but someone to mess around with.





If he isnt ready to be in a commitment, then you guys just need to be friends. When he sees that you're serious and that ur not going to give up an perks he's either going to realize ';man, I miss her and i do wanna be with her'; or he's not gonna care and move on to someone that will dish out all the kisses and stuff without a relationship.





Just as he's told you what he wants and doesn't, you do the same and just see how things play out.I am here looking for advice / help understanding....?
Run Forest..Run!
Look obviously he likes you, and he cares about you. He might have something going in his life that he doesn't want you to deal with because he wants his relationship with you to be perfect. Yeah he might not reply and yeah he might seem distant because if that's what he has to do to get his point across that he needs that extra time and space, that's what he has to do. Be patient it will all pay off and in the end if he really is the guy he seems to be, he will make you very happy.
In my experience, if a guys says he's not ready for anything serious, he's not ready. I would stop texting him/hanging out with him unless HE initiates it. Guys like to be the ones to chase, so if you're the one that keeps contacting him, he will stop chasing you. Plus, you will never know if he really likes you unless you let him make the moves. Trust me on this, please. Good luck to you!
Sounds like he might be somewhat confused about what he wants. Might try asking him about the ';extra baggage'; just talk to him about it. Might help him let go of it and move on
The guy tells you he has baggage but you don't care and run into it anyway, you don't know what his baggage is so why should it matter, right? This person was kind enough to warn you that he has problems, why wouldn't you listen to him? He knows that is going to affect a relationship he has at this point in time but you are both running into it. When he doesn't text you back is when he is thinking about how wrong it is and how you are going to get hurt if he does. Then when he sees you the hormones kick in and going to bed is more important than not hurting you, matter of fact you have kept running back into it so you must be ready to get hurt. There are red flags scattered in your question, too bad you can't read them for yourself, you would be running...the other way.