He's kidding himself. He actually knows, in the back of his mind, that it's not going to be such a bed of roses . . . And to ease the pain, he turns to ridicule . . . It's a man's way of saying, ';Oh my God! I don't know what I am going to do!'; He doesn't realize that his words and games are so sensitive. Men are like that. There is something about men not knowing how to act mature enough during crises. The first thing that they don't want to admit is that they are afraid. The next thing that they do is to try to cover up the sense of responsibility that they have just had dropped on their shoulders. This is where women almost always show that they are more mature, and that they know how to act. Also, men are basically selfish when it comes to ';TLC'; (Tender Love %26amp; Care) and they don't feel like sharing it; even with their own little tots, sometimes. I am sure that your husband loves you and your children. It's just that he is clumsy when it comes to showing his sympathy. I hope you will be at the top of your health again soon . . . I can sense that you have already suffered more than your spouse could have managed if only he would have experienced going through what you have already. God Bless you and your young family. Take care %26amp; keep loving your wonderful children.I need some good advice HELP?
Wow! What a jerk! I can understand that perhaps he is stressed to the max because he works 2 jobs....but he sure doesn't have to be an azz wipe to you....His behavior and attitude towards you is completely unacceptable...Guess for ';richer or for poorer and in sickness and health'; doesn't mean so much to him...Have you suggested that he look for a higher paying job that offers insurance?
I hate to tell you this but he doesn't sound like a very loving, caring or responsible husband, partner or father. If I were you I would seriously consider ';separting'; for a little while to make him come around to his senses and realize how he is acting. Do you have any family that can help you? This is a very difficult situation and of course very delicate with you having 2 young children and being sick yourself. I would try and get help any way you can whether it's family, friends or the state. Good luck!
What you need here is support, and you clearly aren't getting it. This is not about who works the longest hours, or who should do what around the house. You are ill. I know about crohns disease and ulcerative colitis, as my mother in law has it, and I know how debilitating a disease it is.
In your situation, as a young mother, with a disease and upcoming surgery, you need as much emotional and physical support as you can get - not just from your husband, but from family and friends. This is a difficult time for you.
You can't be expected to do household chores and take care of 2 young babies in your condition without help, and I'm shocked that he should have this attitude.
And the jokes about paying for your surgery? That's outrageous, and I really feel for you.
Fact is , you can't change his behaviour. If he was a compassionate caring person in the first place he would never be like this with you when you are sick like this. He would be doing everything he could to help and ease your suffering.
Make him see how selfish he is being. Make him understand what having this disease actually means, because he clearly hasn't got a clue. And he needs to understand, because after surgery you will need even more love and support.
Good luck to you.
x
If he's that much of an (expletive) you need outside help. Get your phonebook out and look up Department of Social Services. Explain your situation to them. And if they can't help, they can at least refer you to organizations that can. Good Luck!!!!!
if he isnt helpin u out ya need to go to threpy and if that dont work u need to fine a need man
well I know how you feel as far as having children so close in age they are 18 mo. apart its very hard when they are little but believe me once they are in school it gets much better and as far as your husband goes ....well I think I would stand up for myself and if your mother is close or a friend say on a Saturday or something when he is off just tell him you need some me time and let him deal with the kids for a day!!! he might see how much work you do after all!! good luck and I hope you get better...
Since the children come first.
Please call with any problem, Anytime:
Girls and Boys Town National Hotline
Phone: 1-800-448-3000
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therapy dont work it makes things worst. What you need to do is learn to love yourself b4 him. He shows you that he dont care how you feel why should care about his feelings let him go theres someone out there that will care about you stop stressing on what he wants and needs worry about what you need in other words F*** him
I understand where you are coming from living the paycheck to paycheck. There are options for families without insurance.If you are going to stay @home with the children, he needs to find a job with good benefits that include insurance. I know exactly what you mean, I do work, but I feel like I am taking care of 3 children all the time. Sometimes, you just got to put your foot down. Take the time that you need for yourself!If you don't men tend to get used to being pampered and always relying on you being there and doing everything. I don't mean go hog wild or anything, but gradually start taking time to go the mall if it just to look around. You deserve it, I know that you may not feel like it, but you need to do something!
With him telling you that he is going to leave you if you have surgery, you just tell him that if he leaves you that he wouldn't be able to afford the alimony and child support!
Keep your head up and take some time for yourself!
He sounds like an insensitive jerk. Joking about your surgery and your pain is not cool.
Yes, he does work two jobs to pay the bills, but he also brought the children into this world, so they are his responsibility as well. You can't just throw money at things and expect that to solve everything.
I suggest some counseling. When you go for your surgery, let your doctor know you need help taking care of the kids. There are programs available to help you.
You need to let him know how your feeling!!! If hes acting like he dont give a_s h i t then, give him consquences, yes he does work two jobs, but handling 2 kids evveerryyy day is NO JOKE%26gt; I wish you the best mama. hope all is well. !
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